The crime and punishment of the beer clip bandit

Beer Clip Bandit

Football fans love picking up little mementos from games: programmes, pin badges, scarves, beer clips… Wait, what?

Notts County supporter Michael Riordan – better known as YouTube vlogger LetsTalkNotts or by his Twitter moniker @NewarkPie – got a little carried away on the pop last Saturday when the Magpies ended a 13-match winless run with a 2-1 victory over Crawley Town. Michael was pretty well oiled by the time he frequented the newly named ‘Broken Wheelbarrow’ – formerly the Meadow Club and Meadow Lane Sports Bar – and, in his mischievous state, decided to pocket a beer clip from the pump of the popular New Era celebration ale, which had been was launched to mark the club’s takeover by chairman Alan Hardy and the arrival of new manager Kevin Nolan

Well, it turned out that Mr Hardy wasn’t best pleased with the news and it was pretty clear that he knew who was to blame…

Most were wiling to forgive Michael’s celebratory overindulgence, due to three points being rarer than unicorn shit around Meadow Lane. However, it’s doubtful they would have let him off had the discounted, £2-a-pint beer remained off sale. Imagine having to go back to Carlsberg… *shudders*

Michael knew he’d been found out and quickly logged on to social media to confess to the crime in a regretful, sober state…

Michael told Gerrit Forward: “I just wanted a souvenir for the day, saw the clip and thought fuck it. I took it and thought nothing of it, as it was only a piece of cardboard.

“The next day, Alan Hardy tweeted that someone from Newark had stolen it and he clearly knew it was me. I owned up and decided catch the train to Nottingham on Monday evening.”

If you’ve perused the Twitter conversation embedded above, you’ll know that most fans found the debacle hilarious. The best part was still to come, because, after accepting the apology, Mr Hardy decided to have a bit of fun with the 18-year-old.

Michael continued: “I walked in and explained to the lady on reception that I was drunk and needed to return something I’d stolen. She laughed and told me I’d made everyone’s morning, but at this point I was pretty nervous and still expecting a bit of a bollocking.

“I was invited into the office, where I was met by Mr Hardy. He was working on transfers with Kevin Nolan, Mark Crossley, Alan Smith and Richard Thomas, who all looked a bit confused by me being there.”

Mr Hardy maintained a stern face and said: “You have some explaining to do…” Michael laughed nervously and was relieved that the chairman broke his faux-disgruntled expression, before retelling the tale of the beer clip bandit to backroom staff.

Michael recalled: “I whipped out the object and everyone saw what was going on and start laughing. Then Mr Hardy jokingly told me to get down on my knees and beg for forgiveness – and that it was going on Twitter.

“I was like ‘what the fuck!?’ as everyone in the room started cracking up. He then posted the photo and gave me the public punishment I deserved.”

You can see the photo here:

Michael continued: “The atmosphere in the room was great. When I’d completed my apology forfeit, I shook their hands and set off home – relieved and buzzing.

“If I’ve learnt anything, it’s don’t steal, especially from Notts as you’ll get outed on Twitter! I’m just glad they let me off lightly and treated it with a bit of humour.

“Saying that, I got to go behind the scenes at Notts and it was like a dream to meet them all. But, I’ve learnt my lesson and I’ll have to lay off the booze a bit in the future!”

Michael has also agreed to make a donation to Flo’s Fight as part of his apology. You can support the campaign, too, by clicking here.

You can watch Michael’s latest LetsTalkNotts vlog below. Unfortunately, his camera was out of battery for the not-so-subtle theft… Maybe next time?

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Dane Vincent

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